Blogging the 61st Grammys Category 83 – Best Music Video

Award to the artist, video director, and video producer.

APES*** – The Carters 

THIS IS AMERICA – Childish Gambino 

I’M NOT RACIST – Joyner Lucas

PYNK  Janelle Monáe

MUMBO JUMBO – Tierra Whack

    I guess I’m the last person in the World to realise The Carters are Jay-Z and Beyonce. That said, out of these videos theirs was my favorite. It’s set in the Louvre and is very entertaining and visually interesting. I never would have guessed in a billion years who it was if I hadn’t watched the video. The Childish Gambino was something I wish I hadn’t watched. I love the song and the artist, the video was too violent for me. Joyner Lucas I first heard audio only and it really confused me at first. Seeing the video I totally get it – much better than Brad Paisley and LL Cool J‘s “Accidental Racist” from a few years back. “Pynk” is just ridiculous. I like the song ok, but the video is too over the top for this old man. She gives Hammer a run for his money in the pants department, though. If you enjoy trips to dentist involving lots of blood, you’ll love Tierra Whack. I wish I hadn’t seen this.

 

Blogging the 2017 Grammys Category 1 – Record Of The Year

Redbone Childish Gambino
Despacito Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee Featuring Justin Bieber
The Story Of O.J. JAY-Z
HUMBLE. Kendrick Lamar
24K Magic Bruno Mars

What a weird assortment of Record of the Year nominees. Three of these are pretty spacey, expirimental songs, then you have the Bruno Mars and the Luis Fonsi. I can’t make heads or tails of what these Grammy kids are listening to. But lordy, I H AVE NO W COMPLETED MY TALK AND LISTENED TO ALMOST EVERYTHING NOMINATED FOR A GRAMMY. 4,500+ TRACKS. It took a few months and until 4 PM the day of the Grammy broadcast. Of these nominees my guess is Bruno will win. Thank you, and goodnight.

Blogging the 2017 Grammys Category 2 – Album Of The Year

“Awaken, My Love!” Childish Gambino
4:44 JAY-Z
DAMN. Kendrick Lamar
Melodrama Lorde
24K Magic Bruno Mars

Out of these, my favorite (and the only one I’ll ever listen to again) is Childish Gambino. I picked through the Lorde, sounds like someone dumped her so she made an album. She hears sounds in her mind. So yay we get to hear them. Bruno Mars will probably win.

Blogging the 2017 Grammys Category 3 – Song Of The Year

Despacito Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee Featuring Justin Bieber
4:44 JAY-Z
Issues Julia Michaels
1-800-273-8255 Logic Featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid
That’s What I Like Bruno Mars

I’ve talked about most of these songs somewhere in the previous 84 categories. I was not familiar with any of them before diving into this, which is weird. I usually know at least one of them. Out of these I predict the phone number (suicide hotline) song will win. Or Bruno Mars. I don’t like any of these songs at all. How did Bruno Mars become the legacy artist so fast?

Blogging the 2017 Grammys Category 22 – Best Rap Performance

Bounce Back Big Sean

He cashed a check and bounced back. He doesn’t have any hobbies. He took his dogs on a plane. He is reliable. God talks to him. He took on air last night but cashed a check and bounced back. Don’t mess with his glory. He’s seen courtrooms and courtside. Boring and slow. Haven’t heard anything I like yet.

Bodak Yellow Cardi B 

I discussed this in another category. She sounds mean.

4:44 JAY-Z

He is sorry he cheated on Beyonce. She’s not answering the phone. I guess he listened to Lemonade.

HUMBLE. Kendrick Lamar

I discussed this in another post. I like the video.

Bad And Boujee Migos Featuring Lil Uzi Vert

I discussed this in another post. The rap with elipses.

Blogging the 2017 Grammys Category 23 – Best Rap/Sung Performance

PRBLMS 6LACK

His girlfriend is mad at him, but he’s not worried because he got a new thing, and it’s all her fault. She wanted fame, he wanted someone who was stable. He’s upset she ordered steak when they went out to eat. Drinking eases his pain. He has real things to worry about, he ain’t worried about her. He has plenty of queens in his own town, all they need is drinking that dank. This is very slow. Not very interesting.

Crew Goldlink Featuring Brent Faiyaz & Shy Glizzy

She sees he has money and therefore she is interested in him. He’s not married. Ray-J is mentioned. Don;t you want to get with him? He is very talented at rhyming and other things. She invited in over but she saw he had a gun. She’s hispanic. He wants to make magic. She sees money all around him. Another slow song, not very interesting. Boring.

Family Feud JAY-Z Featuring Beyoncé

Jay-Z cooked some chicken when the restaurant closed. They’re watching the superbowl. Tupac had a nose ring. Being a billionaire is fun. Why are you drinking Perrier? Two Billionaires are better than one. He said midget, then apologised. Becky should leave him alone. He watched the Godfather, then talks about it for a while. Don’t have a Family Feud. Think Big. Bill Cosby and Al Sharpton. He doesn’t drink Dos Equis. Beyonce sings ‘Higher’ a lot. That’s pretty much it. You don’t need to listen to it now.

LOYALTY. Kendrick Lamar Featuring Rihanna

He thinks she is to die for. Or her anatomy, or something. Rhianna sang Loyalty. She would like him to make some fish. He’s a savage and a king. I have no idea what’s going on or what this is about. He wants to get higher. Loyalty. Don’t switch sides. The song is so slow. Boring.

Love Galore SZA Featuring Travis Scott

Long as they got love. She’s surprised he called after the things she said. Someone turned on the sprinkler hihat. She would like another Valium. That’s probably why the song is so slow. Why is he bothering her when he has another woman. She’s looking forward to the weekend, but he’s married. they do whatever they want, it don’t matter. She gets whatever she wants. It’s about love. She should have never let him hit it. She regrets it. Why are bothering him? You were the one who left. That’s about halfway through the song. I’m moving on with my life.

Blogging the 2017 Grammys Category 24 – Best Rap Song

Bodak Yellow Cardi B

A word of advice. Don’t mess with Cardi B. She is not to be trifled with. I will refrain from commenting on if I like the song or not, because she might find out and I don’t want to deal with her. She sounds mean.

Chase Me Danger Mouse Featuring Run The Jewels & Big Boi

This has a Beastie Boys sample and mean sounding people saying mean things about other people. Tired.

HUMBLE. Kendrick Lamar

I like this because the video has a bunch of bald dudes in it. It’s still not as good as Old timey rap I used to like. I would rather listen to Cypress Hill, and they weren’t even my favorite old-timey rappers.

Sassy Rapsody

I don’t mind this. I don’t understand the staggered drum beat against the keyboard bass, but I will accept I am old.

The Story Of O.J. JAY-Z

I talked about this one way back in the best video category. There’s not much there there, but in looking this song over again, I discovered there’s a fake soundalike on Spotify which I am greatly enjoying. Here.

Blogging the 2017 Grammys Category 25 – Best Rap Album

4:44 JAY-Z

Jay-Z fooled around on Beyonce, now he’s sorry. Has he ever been interesting? Throughout this thing he gives investment advice, apologizes to his wife, and what else? He has a song about watching his wife on the Super Bowl. I think that’s what it’s about. Would you rather be old rich me or new you? Don’t be Eric Benet. Steve Harvey. I think. I hope this doesn’t win.

DAMN. Kendrick Lamar

Everybody loves Kenrick Lamar. George Clinton was on his lat album. U2 is on this one. Hello old man, why don’t you like this, or even find any value in it? Are you too old? Has music passed you by? Nah, you like lots of new music. You just don’t understand this or like it. DNA. gets me bobbing my head a little. Is that what you’re supposed to do? He has a punk-sounding voice. A real John Lydon sneer. Let me sit back and see if old man will enjoy any of this while I eat a waffle. I hear Geraldo. My earbuds can’t handle the bass. I like this better than I did the first time. I like HUMBLE. ok. I prefer the clean versions of these songs. Not a big fan of the B word and N word and any of the words. Tired. I don’t get it. Poor Me.

Culture Migos

Everything is so slow. The hihat sounds like a aprinkler. They are rich now. Everyone underestimated Migos. Look at Migos now. They are rich and they are nominated for a Grammy. They have an Uzi. They have a blunt in the ashtray. They use elipses in their rhymes. Dot dot dot. They have a reverb unit. This is so boring. I don’t get it.

Laila’s Wisdom Rapsody

I’ve been bankin’, check my balance. Out of these, I like this the most. Rapsody has a lot on her mind. She must have notebooks full of rhymes. It felt like this record would never end. There’s a P-Funk vibe on Power. There’s Kendrick Lamar! I listened to the clean version in the car with the family. I like it better than the explicit version. It’s still all pretty slow. Why doesn’t anyone get above 100BPM? Pay Up boosts the tempo a little. Sassy is cool and a little faster. I guess I should give up on there ever being another Tribe Called Quest. Why weren’t they nominated? Because Grammys.

Flower Boy Tyler, The Creator

I didn’t find one thing on this mess that I liked.

Blogging the 2017 Grammys Category 70 – Producer Of The Year, Non-Classical

So let’s listen to what the top producers of the year (non-classical) have been up to. I will try to limit my commentary to the production.

Calvin Harris

Don’t Quit DJ Khaled & Calvin Harris Featuring Travis Scott & Jeremih
Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 Calvin Harris Featuring Various Artists

Calvin Harris is nominated for a single track, and then an album. Why? Who cares. Don’t Quit is a mid-tempo vaguely funky track with delightful dollops of auto-tune. It’s nothing spectacular, nor is it horrible. At least it’s not mopey. I’m not sure why someone at the beginning of the song says “no one saw this one coming.” I’m not sure anyone gives a hoot.  It sounds like Mr. Harris has a nice computer set-up. He uses all the tricks in his pro-tools arsenal. The Calvin Harris album has oodles of guest vocalists, I gave 2 tunes a thumbs down and one tune, Feels, a thumbs up. Figures the one I liked has Pharrell. I always like his stuff. This stuff is all Mid-tempo and doesn’t make me cringe, it’s just not very memorable. Oh well.

Greg Kurstin

Concrete And Gold Foo Fighters
Dear Life Beck
Dusk Till Dawn ZAYN Featuring Sia
LOVE. Kendrick Lamar Featuring Zacari
Strangers Halsey Featuring Lauren Jauregui
Wall Of Glass Liam Gallagher

This fella sure has been busy. I was wondering if the Foo Fighters nomination is for the song or for the album. No idea. I like Dave Grohl. I have only ever liked the first Foo Fighters record, because I like one-man bands. But this is about the production, so let’s get to that. A lot of work went into this – multi-layered vocals, different drum sounds – it has that modern feel of lots of space, yet horribly compressed. Most everything is spit-shined and polished to the point of sounding inhuman, but that’s the style now. I still prefer a few mics in a room catching a blistering performance – letting the music breathe. No room for that today. The Beck record kind of came and went without many people noticing it. Again – I’m not clear if the nomination is for the song or the album. How did this same guy produce these six records in one year? Oh wait – the Beck album is called Colors, the song must be what’s nominated.  This is a very Beatles-y track, the production has definite nods to early solo McCartney or Lady Madonna-era McCartney. How could I not like it? Again – so compressed. But well worth a listen. I guess. The ZAYN track is of the mope-school of 2017. Is this a result of the opioid epidemic? Booooooooorrrrrriiiiiiinnnnnnggggggg. Music should move your feet, your heart, or your mind. This boring piece of pfffft moves my finger to the skip button. The Halsey track has a ‘Running Up That Hill‘ beat, a smooth pop sheen, and a vaguely haunting refrain about growing apart from someone you were close to. It’s one of the better tunes from this lot. It gives me a melody and sort of interesting lyrics, a little rhythm and some synth hooks. Not bad. Last up is one of those Oasis dudes. I’ve never been interested enough in Oasis to who is who. I know one was the singer and one was the songwriter and they bragged a lot. This sounds like the three Oasis songs I’ve heard – even down to the rainbow-shaped melody. This is about the production. Minus 5 points for having a pseudo gospel choir, +2 for great guitar tones and a phat bass sound. Not bad. The derivative melody brings it down, but the producer polishes the turd best he can.

Blake Mills

Darkness And Light John Legend
Eternally Even Jim James
God Only Knows John Legend & Cynthia Erivo Featuring yMusic
Memories Are Now Jesca Hoop
No Shape Perfume Genius
Semper Femina Laura Marling

When I was young I imagined all of the fabulous stars were all friends and couldn’t wait to sing on each other’s records. Now I realise when they show up with each other they probably have the same accountant or lawyer or something and someone wrote on a whiteboard somewhere how advantageous it would be to ‘collaborate.’ I say all of this because the first track of the lot is John Legend WITH SPECIAL GUEST ALABAMA SHAKES LADY. Why? John Legend can sing and doesn’t need auto-tune. Same for the Alabama Shakes lady. She even brought the same reverb unit she has on her own records. The production on this is uncluttered and fine enough – some sparse distorted guitar and synth stabs, but overall the song is weak. Sounds like one of those latter-day Prince ballads that hits all the marks but whose passion is totally forced. I don’t like all this compression. Stop it. The track is the title track of the LP. I did listen to as much of the whole record as I could stand, but for the sake of brevity in this post I’ll just focus on the track, because I don’t know if the nomination is for the album or track, and I don’t care enough to find out. As far as Jim James is concerned, all I can really say is WHAT IS THIS CRAP? Do people like this? Is there a song here? This is terrible. The production is limp, the song is non-existent, and make it go away. Horrible. The Beach Boys cover I had to suffer through next begs the question. WHY DOES THIS EXIST? These vocalists have nothing to add to this conversation. The orchestration is ponderous, the tempo drags, to hell with these people. This is terrible. STOP IT. The next pile of crap I had to suffer through was Jesca Hoop. The production is minimal and bearable, but this artist and song are the worst. Imagine the most pretentious coffee-shop open mic nut you’ve ever seen, and here she is. LOOK MA, I’M ON THE GRAMMYS! Ok, to be fair, this is better than that lady with the harp that sings way high up, and her background vocals are interesting. I’m just grumpy at this point – maybe if this had made an appearance earlier in the rotation it wouldn’t be so obnoxious. But maybe it is horrible. I can’t tell any more. But I’ll be damned if I listen to an entire CD of this tripe. But wait – there’s more pretentious crap to come. Perfume Genius. Is he related to Chocolate Genius? I’m dismayed to find this is the name of the album. Great. Track one sounds like the ‘Genius’ recorded it in his bathroom. Oh no now there’s a big burst of synths and overdubbed harmonies. If I wanted to invent an album that would annoy the hell out of me, this would be it. I couldn’t come up with a more annoying piece of garbage if I tried. Does anyone like this more than Mr. Perfume Genius? He’s very impressed with himself and how creative he is! I wish he had taken up knitting or something else to express his ‘genius.’ Then I would never have to have interacted with him. This is awful. I guess Blake Mills is attracted to the opposite of what I enjoy in music. And all of the compression. The worst! Don’t listen to this. Here comes Laura Marling. The producer seems to favor overdubbed basses noddling around with synthy-orchestral bursts. The songs are meandering and awful, the production pretentious. I hate all of this. He’ll probably win.

No I.D.

America Logic Featuring Black Thought, Chuck D & Big Lenbo & No ID
The Autobiography Vic Mensa
4:44 JAY-Z

I don’t know why No I.D. gets songs nominated while the other folks got entire albums, and again, I don’t care. I like the Logic track. He has a potty mouth, but he’s engaged with the political world and I want to listen to this again. Kind of an update of on the classic P.E. sound. Nice. Vic Mensa is meh. Mid-tempo sludge rap. Not into it. The Jay-Z record is only on Tidal. My 3rd grade son is in the room and I am not going to listen on YouTube. I probably wouldn’t like it.

The Stereotypes

Before I Do Sevyn Streeter
Better Lil Yachty Featuring Stefflon Don
Deliver Fifth Harmony
Finesse Bruno Mars                                                                                                                            Mo Bounce Iggy Azalea                                                                                                                      Sunshine Kyle Featuring Miguel
That’s What I Like Bruno Mars

The Sevyn Streeter song is a slow jam. You know what slow jams sound like. Is her man cheating and on the low? Listen and find out. She wants to take it to the next level. Now, is Lil Yachty a modern Yacht-rock artist? I hear steel drums. I hear auto-tune. This is a positive reinforcement tune. It has the sprinkler hi-hat. Nothing to write home about. If you like crappy reggae with auto-tune you might enjoy this. Fifth Harmony – another SLOW SONG. Why is the tempo of 2017 80 BPM? Doesn’t anyone want to dance? Her baby knows that she delivers. Who cares. The Bruno Mars track here channels Dangerous-era Michael Jackson. I’ve heard other things by him I like better. meh. Iggy Azalea is quite a potty mouth. I linked to the clean version. Isn’t she Australian? I don’t know. I like this despite my valiant efforts to not. There’s so much wrong about this. But whatevs. I need MO BOUNCE! It does bother me she’s Australian. I would imagine this is a big hit at strip clubs. Sunshine is a bright sunshiny song – has a nice little groove and I don’t hate it. A victory in today’s world for me. I would dance to this in a nightclub establishment. The second Bruno Mars isn’t bad. I always wish he was better than he is, but he’s the best we’ve got at the moment in pop-biz.

Looks like out of all of these, I like The Stereotypes the best. hey probably won’t win.

Blogging the 2017 Grammys Category 83 – Best Music Video

Music videos are still being made. I had no idea. I guess the last time I sat down to watch a new video it was that Lazarus thing from the David Bowie Black Star swan song. I listened to the songs before checking out the accompanying visual statements, and I suppose I should share my thoughts on what I saw, as this is the Best Music Video category.

First up to bat is 1-800-273-8255 from Logic Featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid. I don’t know who any of these people are, and I didn’t know why the title of the song was a phone number. I listened to the version on a Now That’s What I Call Music compilation, because I sometimes have music playing in the car when my 9-year old is hearing the tunes, and the NOW comps have the clean versions. 

At first blush, this song is another in a long line of oddly whiny pop hits flooding the airwaves. I have small brushes with top 40, and lately I’ve noticed a lot of the songs are sad, dramatic mid-tempo minor-key affairs. A few years ago Ke$ha was brushing her teeth with Jack Daniels, now she’s moping around being a Debbie Downer. Most of the Top 40 I hear, including the hip-hop, is mopey and sad. This fits right in. I was ready to brush it off as lightweight fluff (which it is, musically), with an oddly out-of place hook of Logic shouting “Can you relate, wooo!” after every verse. Then I saw the video.

Logic has some serious movie star friends who are willing to appear in his video. Don Cheadle, Matthew Modine, and Luis Guzman all appear. WTF? I assumed the lead character in the video was Logic, but it isn’t. Needless to say the video gives the song an entirely new meaning and is fairly powerful. I recommend taking a look – not for the song, which is nothing to write home about, but paired with the video it’s got something. I predict this one will win.

Humble. by Kendrick Lamar was a very entertaining video – but as is the case with almost everything else I’ve heard by him, I have no idea what he’s talking about. He has been credited for being a more socially conscious rapper, but this song’s chorus is littered with the dreaded B word – and it’s tired. Plus points for the video – all the bald dudes, the hair on fire, the last supper, and especially the mustard. The song had a good beat and I could bounce to it. Minus points – so many B words, couldn’t play it with my youngin’ in the room.

    The Story Of O.J. by JAY-Z was a ho-hum musical experience on my first listen. With a title like The Story of O.J. I was expecting a blistering social commentary like Chuck D used to bring. Instead I got a really rich guy giving real-estate and investment advice. O.J. comes up once in the song, but it feels like JAY-Z had other things he needed to get to that day, and writing lyrics for a song would have to remain in their first draft. BUT THE VIDEO HOLY WOW. I’ve been thinking about this video since I watched it last night. I’ve been talking about it on and off all day long. The creators of the video really made a great piece of social commentary from JAY-Z‘s nothing of a song. I’m assuming you’re going to watch these videos, so I don’t want to spoil it. This one and the Kendrick Lamar are definitely NSFW btw. I listened to the clean version of the JAY-Z but I bet I can guess what words the ‘Parental Advisory’ version use. The video made me appreciate the song more – maybe he’s just a minimalist.

Makeba by Jain is my favorite song in this category. So bouncy, fun, and coherent. The video is also great, but the song does fine without it. I don’t know who she is, where she comes from, what language this is in, but it doesn’t matter. It makes me want to dance AND listen to more of whomever this is. Is this about Mariam Makeba? I DON’T KNOW and I DON’T CARE! TURN IT UP and DANCE

Up All Night by Beck is from a fairly recent release that came and went with no real fanfare. This one sounds like a lost Beck hit from the 90s, and the video was typically silly without any Beck in it. I’ve been enjoying Beck’s boring phase since Mutations, thankful that he was willing to age and mellow with me. But here he is again putting on his Beck hat. It’s not great, it’s not terrible.